The Power of "Tell me about ..."

When my daughter was 2 years old she went to Playcentre. Playcentre is an Early Childcare provider where the parents are the educators - a beautiful concept. In order to secure government funding (I assume) parents need to gain some qualifications (makes sense). 

My wife, who is not a teacher, completed a Playcentre creativity workshop.

One of the stand out messages in the resource she brought home was a simple phrase that adults should use when talking to children about their art work 'tell me about your picture?' 

This is a simple idea but the more I use the 'tell me about..' phrase the more I realise the deep importance of allowing a person to tell you about something they have created.

So, here are my 5 reasons why you should use 'tell me about' when talking to children about their learning.

1) It stops your judgement on their ideas. Though "I like your picture of a witch - she looks scary" sounds like great praise, if the little cherub is actually attempting a beautiful princess this comment will cause her to do one of 3 things; a) Cry b) Lye ("yes - it is a good witch") and/or c) never want to attempt to draw a beautiful princess again. Enough said.

2) It allows 'authors voice'. Often artwork, movies, TV shows and books are more enjoyable to the viewer when we hear or read the creator talk about them. I recently read a biography on Walt Disney, and immediately watched (and appreciated) a series of old Disney movies. The enjoyment comes from understanding the intention of the artist.

3) It encourages story telling. The 'tell me about it' question to my now 4 year old has often lead to great stories - about how the circle and stick (princess) is trying to find a true friend (scribble with stick) or how the tiger is chasing the man through the forest because he is crazy. The questions allows for the art piece of art to be a true form of communication.

4) Growth Mindset - You value the process - not the end outcome. My favorite piece of art that my daughter has made is by no means her best picture - but it was the idea that went with the picture - something I would have never known if I had have praised with a 'I like your car'.  The conversation went something like this.

Me: "Tell me about your picture " (I never say "You finished" - who am I to say a picture is finished?)

3 year Old: "They are driving to get married"

Me: "Can you tell me more?"

3 year Old: " They are smiling because they are happy - there are 3 sisters and a Mum, all the girls are in this car. They all have hats on it is a special day"

Me: "Weddings are special days. You have thought really carefully about making your picture a wedding day - and I like your idea of putting hats on all the girls. 

3 year Old: And dresses.

Me: "I think you have done a great job because you thought carefully and tried really hard - and you took a long time to add all of your ideas into the picture"

I am no Growth Mindset expert, but I am pretty sure this conversation would develop more of a growth mindset than "You are great at drawing cars and people - I love it - it looks like our family going to the beach!"

5) Insights. This approach can (should) also be used in other curriculum areas. Before reading a piece of writing I try to ask a child "Tell me about the writing you have done". 9 times out of 10 the piece will reflect exactly what they have said (my trip to the ice cream store) but occasionally the answer will give an insight that astonishes me - "I was wanting to write about how much I love my family, but all I could do was write I love you with a list of reasons why I love them. So I wrote about the time we went for ice cream so I could show how much I love them." 

Often in maths I will ask the student to 'tell me about what they have done' when solving a specific problem. Their answer to this question always gives you far more knowledge than reading what they have written.

Really, the 'Tell me ...' approach works in everything with life. There is nothing worse than people assuming something about you and jumping in with opinions before asking you a question. Take the time and listen :)